Ponder-ation

Cliques. They're odd. We've all seen them in the movies. Mean Girls, anybody?
Haha anyways, growing up in the bay area, we don't see them that much. Or at least, I haven't seen a huge impact of cliques on my life. Nowadays, after a few months in high school, I can't help but notice some people have changed. They're now their own little group and it's just odd to see them go off by themselves. I quote from my friend today, "They can actually be quite cold." 

Phew, I thought I was imagining stuff. I can't help but notice that either, especially since I was actually really close to some of them last year. We all changed. I know I did, drastically. But it's interesting to contrast. I've lost touch with so many people from last year. But I've also gained a bunch of new friendships. I've grown way closer to some of my old friends too.

It's just that... it seems like I only talk to a few people 30000x in a single day. I don't know if I feel bored? But it's just very repetitive every day. I forgot what it feels like to be friends with some people. You know how there are different types of friendships? Let's say... there exists friendships a - z. I've got my buds a-j. What happened to k-z? They've disappeared and frankly I miss them. I just can't help feeling that you look at me weirdly now whenever I say hi. In the beginning of the year, we used to exchange enthusiastic greetings. Now, it's just a sidelong glance and a quick walk away. What happened? I'm not sure.

I can't help feeling that this is an effect of being away all summer at CAPE. I can't help feeling that this is an effect of marching band. I definitely don't regret either. But it's just that... being immersed in a program. You begin to lose connection with people outside of your little sphere of everyday conduct. It's saddening. And I repeat, I definitely do not, do not regret any of my decisions. You know, friends are great, but it's hard to tell who actually likes you for who you are and not what you do. The ones that stick around even though I barely have anything in common with them anymore: they're the ones who count. Because I know through all the complaining and tough patches in life, they're the ones I can count on.

You guys, thank you. Seriously, you mean a lot to me. You know who you are. :]