Monday, May 7, 2012
The Beauty of Not-Procrastinating
Today, I didn't procrastinate. I didn't go online until I finished 1/2 of my homework. And I actually got to bed an hour earlier, even with my 1 hr nap! Plus, I got home kind of late. So, great. I shall continue this regime, as long as my discipline holds. Haha. I like going to bed earlier. Sleep is holy in a high schooler's life.
Ain't No Reason by Brett Dennen
There ain’t no reason things are this way.
It's how they always been and they intend to stay.
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.
Preachers on the podium speakin’ to saints..
Prophet on the sidewalk beggin’ for change,
Old ladies laughing from the fire escape, cursing my name.
I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same,
A window and a pigeon with a broken wing,
You can spend your whole life workin’ for something
Just to have it taken away.
People walk around pushin; back their debts.
Wearing pay checks like necklaces and bracelets,
Talking ‘bout nothing, not thinking ‘bout death,
Every little heartbeat, every little breath.
People walk a tight rope on a razors edge
Carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons.
It could be a bomb or a bullet or a pen
Or a thought or a word or a sentence.
There ain't no reason things are this way.
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I don’t know why I say the things I say, but I say them anyway.
But love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes.
Prison walls still standing tall,
Some things never change at all.
Keep on buildin’ prisons, gonna fill them all,
Keep on buildin’ bombs, gonna drop them all.
Working your fingers bare to the bone, breakin your
Back make you sell your soul, life alone is filled with
Coal sufficating slow. The wind blows wild and I may move,
The politicians lie and I am not fooled.
You don't need no reason or a three piece suit to argue the truth.
The air on my skin and the world under my toes,
Slavery stitched into the fabric of my clothes,
Chaos and commotion wherever I go, love I try to follow.
Love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes.
There ain't no reason things are this way
It’s how they always been and they intend to stay
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Supermoon: Revisiting Mémoire 4
The moon is so beautifully bright tonight. It's not exactly larger in size, as the reports promised. However, it's abnormally radiant, and of course, that makes up for everything. These bright, breezy nights... these are the nights that remind me of my childhood memories. Running around in my pj's, scaling up fences. Laughing and giggling. Stealing knowing looks at my friends beside me.
It was quite a night to remember. It was one of my last few innocent memories before high school-- one of my fondest. Throughout that whole entire night, I suppose the moon spoke to me the loudest. Its majestic face was the one who greeted me, saving us 3 from frostbite. Its bright gleam seemed to speak of patience and wisdom.
"Cherish these moments while you still live them. And when the night is over, remember me, for I will be awaiting to help you relive them once again."
It was quite a night to remember. It was one of my last few innocent memories before high school-- one of my fondest. Throughout that whole entire night, I suppose the moon spoke to me the loudest. Its majestic face was the one who greeted me, saving us 3 from frostbite. Its bright gleam seemed to speak of patience and wisdom.
"Cherish these moments while you still live them. And when the night is over, remember me, for I will be awaiting to help you relive them once again."
To whom it may concern:
Our friendship spawned from our intelligent conversation. We discussed everything... from science to religion to literature to politics. You were the one person who held these beautiful conversations with me. But that was back in Novemeber. That was a few months ago.
It seems like those times are archaic in our history. But believe it or not, those were the times that I miss the most. It's what made me love you the way I did. I'm still trying to hold on those feelings. Not that it's entirely your fault... you're making it really hard though.
I know. I could've done more to involve and engage you. However, whenever we do have contrasting opinions, you back off from a fight. I absolutely hate that about you. Conversation and relationships can be built through dissent. They can especially be strengthened through discussions. Nowadays, you're just talking about random gossips that, frankly, I have no interests in.
Maybe this is who you are. You like to stalk people's affairs via Facebook for entertainment. Fine, I'll accept that part of you. But please, do not involve me in such frivolous matters. Call me a hypocrite. Sometimes, I do the same to you (concerning other topics), and I am deeply sorry about that.
My point is... it's been a long time since we've had an intelligent conversation. Can we go back to those times when we actually had something to talk about? My confidante (you know her) says that those conversations happened back then because you tried to capture my attention. Now that I'm your friend, does that mean that we stop talking about such matters? It seems like it does. You've named science your escape-- your Allison-free zone. You've named any other topics uninteresting to you. (Oh dear, sorry, I would have to take out religion out of our conversations. We fight far too much about that in an unhealthy way.)
What happened between now and then? Why are we like this? I'm absolutely dying to actually talk to you about something interesting and mind-boggling. I loved you for it. It's what set you apart. But now that it's gone, I don't know if I can still say that. I just need to know... what happened?
It seems like those times are archaic in our history. But believe it or not, those were the times that I miss the most. It's what made me love you the way I did. I'm still trying to hold on those feelings. Not that it's entirely your fault... you're making it really hard though.
I know. I could've done more to involve and engage you. However, whenever we do have contrasting opinions, you back off from a fight. I absolutely hate that about you. Conversation and relationships can be built through dissent. They can especially be strengthened through discussions. Nowadays, you're just talking about random gossips that, frankly, I have no interests in.
Maybe this is who you are. You like to stalk people's affairs via Facebook for entertainment. Fine, I'll accept that part of you. But please, do not involve me in such frivolous matters. Call me a hypocrite. Sometimes, I do the same to you (concerning other topics), and I am deeply sorry about that.
My point is... it's been a long time since we've had an intelligent conversation. Can we go back to those times when we actually had something to talk about? My confidante (you know her) says that those conversations happened back then because you tried to capture my attention. Now that I'm your friend, does that mean that we stop talking about such matters? It seems like it does. You've named science your escape-- your Allison-free zone. You've named any other topics uninteresting to you. (Oh dear, sorry, I would have to take out religion out of our conversations. We fight far too much about that in an unhealthy way.)
What happened between now and then? Why are we like this? I'm absolutely dying to actually talk to you about something interesting and mind-boggling. I loved you for it. It's what set you apart. But now that it's gone, I don't know if I can still say that. I just need to know... what happened?
Intelligent Conversations
Right now, I'm pretty sad. Or at least, I feel pretty lonely. I feel like this year I've been deprived of intelligent conversations. After spending a whole summer with these impressive people, I guess I would say that my standards have been raised. It's like I have been dumped from this beautiful haven of knowledge to this highly competitive public school, in which people either don't try/care or don't like to keep their mind on such matters.
Being in a literature class comprised of 25 unmotivated (or shy) students has pretty much deprived me of book discussions. (Seeking these discussions myself outside of the classroom is so terribly hard!) Today, I was able to talk to my CAPE friend about literature and language in general. I think he pretty much made my day. It was so great just to be able to talk and discuss, to have him actually challenge my ideas, and to expose me to new ones. It was just absolutely magnificent.
I also spoke with another old CAPE bud about debate, Model UN, and mock trial. That was also really fun. Haha. I don't know! I just feel like speaking to them offers so much more information and value than talking to some people at my own school. It may be because of our history, but then again, if I look back at the conversation, I'm sure that I'd find that they actually engage in conversation.
Epiphany! I now realize why I want to go to a summer program! It entails meeting new people and exchanging new ideas. Maybe, I don't exactly enjoy Lynbrook, because most people have the same view on things. Very rarely do I find someone who has contrasting interpretations... or very rarely do I find someone who is willing to share their own unique thoughts. It's an absolute rarity in Lynbrook, which is one of the things I hate! Perhaps, it'll change next year. I really hope it will!
Without meaning, words are nothing but senseless drivel.
Being in a literature class comprised of 25 unmotivated (or shy) students has pretty much deprived me of book discussions. (Seeking these discussions myself outside of the classroom is so terribly hard!) Today, I was able to talk to my CAPE friend about literature and language in general. I think he pretty much made my day. It was so great just to be able to talk and discuss, to have him actually challenge my ideas, and to expose me to new ones. It was just absolutely magnificent.
I also spoke with another old CAPE bud about debate, Model UN, and mock trial. That was also really fun. Haha. I don't know! I just feel like speaking to them offers so much more information and value than talking to some people at my own school. It may be because of our history, but then again, if I look back at the conversation, I'm sure that I'd find that they actually engage in conversation.
Epiphany! I now realize why I want to go to a summer program! It entails meeting new people and exchanging new ideas. Maybe, I don't exactly enjoy Lynbrook, because most people have the same view on things. Very rarely do I find someone who has contrasting interpretations... or very rarely do I find someone who is willing to share their own unique thoughts. It's an absolute rarity in Lynbrook, which is one of the things I hate! Perhaps, it'll change next year. I really hope it will!
Without meaning, words are nothing but senseless drivel.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
"How about let me talk about everything: all our intimacy, all our conversations, the content of our conversations?"
Way to completely destroy whatever trust I had in you. I don't even know if I can forgive you. I thought I knew you better. But no, you're just like the rest. You're just a fool who takes advantage of someone who loves you. Yeah, I know better now. I know not to trust anybody. You thoroughly convinced me that you cared and that our secrets would be safe.
Fool me one, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Well, you're not going to get a second shot.
The thing that makes me sad is that... I've deliberated about my actions. And you? You just lash out like a little child, who can't get what they want. Learn to control yourself for once, will you?
Way to completely destroy whatever trust I had in you. I don't even know if I can forgive you. I thought I knew you better. But no, you're just like the rest. You're just a fool who takes advantage of someone who loves you. Yeah, I know better now. I know not to trust anybody. You thoroughly convinced me that you cared and that our secrets would be safe.
Fool me one, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Well, you're not going to get a second shot.
The thing that makes me sad is that... I've deliberated about my actions. And you? You just lash out like a little child, who can't get what they want. Learn to control yourself for once, will you?
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
This Made my Day
Sonia: Dude I started learning this thing called meend on the sitar. It's when you pull and wiggle the strings and it hurts like a mofo and my fingers are getting new calluses
me: LOOL Wiggling the strings OMG LOL. I think it's called vibrato, but yes, wiggling the strings.
me: LOOL Wiggling the strings OMG LOL. I think it's called vibrato, but yes, wiggling the strings.
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