"I'll be negative for this round."
"Great! Now, now where's the positive?"

I must talk more about the Milpitas Tournament today. But at some later date, it is far too late right now. But it was very very very fun indeed. I got to meet new people. I got to bond with my fellow Lynbrook debaters. I got to have some pretty fun rounds. Finally, got exposed to LD, and I must say... I'm liking it.

I'm not sure what to do for Berkeley and for Stanford. I hope I can prove myself sometime.

Shit, I have a really really bad tone quality on english horn. Like..... Damn, that's bad. Is there even time to improve from now til the chamber groups concert? I didn't even sound that bad when I first started playing oboe. There's gotta be something wrong with what I'm doing, but I don't know what!

~Rage
I really really really wanna go to France.
And I can't do that with a barfing tone quality.
"Well, english horn has some really nice vibrato." ~Mr. P
Oh yeah, that's because I can't play english horn, so now he's suggesting how badly I played. (NO! I refuse to be a failure!) Sigh, I shall ask my private teacher tomorrow. Maybe she can help. ;___;

I need caffeine now. Or else I won't be able to function in the debate tomorrow. x___x'

Goal: Finish my aff and neg case in 12 hours.

If I achieve this goal, I shall be the master of procrastination and deception (of knowing what to do).

Check List

1. Write email regarding flyer & dates.(ASAP)
2. Send out meeting minutes.(ASAP)
3. Write aff case. (1/27)
4. Write neg case. (1/27)
5. Write quote responses. (1/27)
6. Write application. (2/3)
7. Research for summer camps. (ASAP)

You can do great things if you only let yourself believe.

I have so much work to do. I'm seriously screwed. Good bye, LD cases. Good bye, sleep. I think I shall stay in the corner of the band room during the jazz concert, working my ass off.

Damn. I think I have RSI from typing so much on Monday. Argh. That's what you get when all of your essays are typed. That's what you get when you can't talk to people in person.

I'm so glad I had SCVMUN on February 3rd. No need to deal with Sadies drama! :D

Dammit, I have wasted so much time over the weekend. Sigh, this is really really saddening. Note to self: Create a to-do list! And check them off one by one. One by one. One by one.

Okay, sorry, I'm really really excited about starting this project. I can't wait. But I'm scared, you know? One false move... everything will fall apart... and a lot of people's time will be wasted. I'm not just betting on myself. So many people have placed their trust in me and I'd hate to fail them.

No worries. Deep breaths. Good planning is all that it takes. I've been trained for this. I can do this in my sleep.

Oh, god. Now begins the longest month of my life. I welcome you endless nights and mile long papers.

Why are you so mature? LOL. Oh wait, it may be because you've got two more years than everybody else I know. Thanks, really.

OUCH, Sonia, that. Now, that was harsh. (I couldn't help laughing though. Damn, I'm a bad person.)

Prepping for SCVMUN

I've got about 150 pages or so to read before February 3rd! I'm so excited. Oh, I also have to remember it too. (Wait... But we're allowed computers at our conference...) I sense notes and ctrl+F!

Happy Chinese New Year!

(In 12 minutes)

Year of the Dragon :]

Last week, I was so busy that I missed Pretty Little Liars. Tsk tsk. But I'll be sure to tell about my past week at some later date. I'm just feeling very tired now. Note to self: Talk about SCVMUN and Logan Tourney.

Note to self: Also talk about the LD decision.

Yay! I kind of started blogging again. (Or maybe I'll just go on splurges every week or something. Haha.) Hey, if you still read this, would you be to be so kind as to tell me? :] I just want to see if you are. It's a mode of communication afterall.

Apparently when I debate, I sound like I'm taking these matters personally. Damn, that's awkward. Hmm, but then again, the person who gave that opinion isn't exactly reliable. I'll be sure to watch my tone next time though. Nice point, mystery person.

Apparently "Ooh La La" is the equivalent of "Oh my gosh" in French. So instead of saying OMG, we, 1st period Frenchies shall start saying OLL.

OLL!

Hard Contacts

So I've started wearing my contacts again! I'm kind of excited. Other than the fact that my vision will vary hour to hour. That is not exactly helpful in class nor is it when I'm trying to read music notes off a page.

What's really funny about them though is that my depth perception significantly changed when I put them in. Everything because augmented, except my height. I grew shorter in comparison to the height of my room. Though... my room did grow bigger! (But then so did my stride size.) My computer screen is now wider than I previous thought. I really have no way of explaining it. Let's just say that my depth perception is different with contacts than with glasses. Which then, begs the question... which one is right?

Well, since I'm going to start wearing my contacts again, I shall go revisit my optometrist. See what's up with my depth perception. Get a check up on my eyes. Update the prescription on these contacts. That sort of business. I'm kind of excited. I get to go around with no glasses now. I'll actually look different. I won't look the same as I did for the past two years. Yay!

Project AE has officially started. :]

Make it or break it.

I'm so nervous for tomorrow.

I actually realized today that... I've been having a lot of "Dear John," moments (21st century style). As in...

Wait, before I begin, I'd like to add a disclaimer. I actually have never really paid attention to Dear John when I saw it at a sleepover. So, I'm sorry if I get the plot wrong. I mean "Dear John," moments as in writing to a loved one for comfort.

I suppose I'm somewhat notorious for writing extremely long explosive emails to friends. In these emails, I ask for advice. I rant. Along with these rants, I usually write about the situation for an hour or two before coming to a self-revelation or a philosophical revelation. I cannot say how amazing this process is. Because I have been writing these emails to my friends, I have documented my whole thought process up to my sudden eureka! moment. It's really quite amazing.

I'm really glad to have friends that accept these emails (even though I only write to two of you). I love you guys. Seriously, you guys mean a lot to me.

Dear John,
Thank you.

Memories

I'm not sure why, but this make me really sad. No, I don't long for my past. I feel bad for the older generation. When they're all grown up, they get to reminisce all their old memories, knowing that they're nearing their end already.

Our time on Earth is too short.

Dear John

By Taylor Swift

Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps praying the floor won't fall through again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine

You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight
Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should've known

Well, maybe it's just me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played with?
Your dark twisted games when I loved you so
I should've known

You are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes
'Cause you've burned them out

But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over
Your sad, empty town

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've known

You should've known
Don't you think I was too young?
You should've known

~~~

I hope you're different.

I've just been so busy for the past week. I'll update more starting... Sunday? :D

Without the Bitter the Sweet Isn't as Sweet

By Mayday Parade

We used to be something surreal 
Others looked to us for what we built
We were envied until the point
The point in which we fell
We fell by the wayside, and slowly watched ourselves die
A lonely death in which no one cared and no one came
When the walls cave in, we only have ourselves to blame

And even if it's dark at least we'll be together
Slowly sinking in the earth to lay forever
You better grab a hold and hold on for your life
Because you don't get lucky twice

Now even if it's perfect, I can't get carried away
And motivate my tongue in twisted ways
It felt like a good night, for dancing and the moonlight
In empty streets, well, everybody's got a reason why
If we could only just get it right

Maybe it will all work out like in the movies
But I know Romeo must die before the ending
With a final poison kiss delivered gently
Because you don't get lucky twice, and that's the truth

Sing to me sweet, just like my memory
If New York City still moves me
Then I found something real
I'll be okay, I could go on for days
But I just don't have the courage that it takes to be real

And even if it's dark at least we'll be together
Slowly sinking in the earth to lay forever
You better grab a hold and hold on for your life
Because you don't get lucky twice
No, you don't get lucky twice

English Horn

I must tell about the english horn tomorrow. It's so beautiful. :')
Making me tear up with happiness just thinking about it. Haha. But it's late now. I'll tell about my awesome endeavor later.

On the bright side...

My mom went to the mall today and she actually found a formal outfit for me. YES! :'D And it was a really good deal too. Haha. The sizings are a bit funky but I'll take it. I just can't change my breadth for the next 4 years. If I get skinnier, my skirt won't fit. If I grow fatter, the blazer won't fit. Hmm.

I have just received great news that our position papers will be due on Monday, January 9th. :') Further procrastination commence! I shall now go off and clean my room. Oh dear, I have a lot of papers to write.

There's still that debate case... and Logan is on January 13th...

I think this blog is turning into just a log of my progress on my to-do list. LOL. That's wonderful. /sarcasm.

WELL, TOO BAD. It's my blog. I get to write what I want to write on it. Truth be told, I'm already frantic and drowning in work. School isn't even in session yet. Hmph. I'm so glad I didn't do soccer. But it also doesn't help that it's debate season and a bunch of Model UN conferences are coming up. (Oh, but those are so fun!)

After I'm not so drowning in work, I'll post about stuff that (some) people might actually care about. Hmm, well it's either get an update on my work or not have be blog at all. And basing it on my two (or more? :D) readers, I think they'd like me to blog at least something.

Cough cough. Yes, that's right, Anusha. I'm looking at you. Or... coughing at you.

Finished 1/6!

Yes! I'm being productive! Damn. I just finished writing my email regarding the CAPE ambassadorship. Guess how long it was? I'm not sure but I don't want to copy and paste to see how many pages it is. But the scroll bar for the email message body is very small. Argh. I think I need to cut it down. I can't waste people's time! This email took 1 hour to write. ONE HOUR. 2am-3:15am.

I'm mental. And I was typing non-stop. I think I'll try to go see how many pages it is now. LOL

Anyways, here is my updated to-do list!

New Updated To-Do List:

1. debate briefs (Must finish reading by Jan. 4th)

2. email 1 (Done with draft; just need to edit => 3/4)

3. clean room (I am now 25% finished with cleaning)

4. getting new math notebook (Must get by Jan. 3rd)

5. finish writing position paper (Must finish by midnight today)

6. practice oboe (Dang I have a lesson on Tuesday)

Oh dear, by the way, I just copy and pasted my email over to word.

~Gulp.

2 whole pages got taken up–– single spaced, 1406 words.

Finished 3/6!

What did I tell you? I expected that I'd get 3 tasks done out of 6, yes? Haha.

To-Do List:

1. debate briefs

2. Model UN topic synopsis (DONE!)

3. email 1

4. email 2 (DONE!)

5. cleaning room

6. fix oboe (DONE!)

I shall now add a new task: finish writing our position papers and getting a new math notebook.

New Updated To-Do List:

1. debate briefs

2. email 1

3. clean room

4. getting new math notebook

5. finish writing position paper

Happy New Years! :D

It's 2012! Let's make this an awesome year. Resolutions... to be posted.